Chaos.

When You Talk

When you talk you make her whole day.
Your laughs can keep her smile intact throughout.
You have no idea about the impact that your words has on her.
Her soul is naked, have a look and you will know that you are her whole world.

The Ephemeral Evening

Years went by, she had started to live with the pain unknown. With the hope that she would one day overcome every sorrow and suffering he had given. Fate always has a different story. One normal evening, an evening she thought would never remind her of the past, An evening that was as elementary as possible. There was a fake smile on her face that could cheat anyone to believe how joyous her life was. The Kohl of her eyes perfectly hid the dark surroundings of her eyes, a gift to her by those long sleepless nights. A fake blush that was long lost since he departed from her life. The lip gloss that could never replace the gloss left by his lips that touched hers. The perfume she wore was not as sweet as his scent. A longing of him, hugging her tightly. A longing to let his fragrance linger on her. Still longing for his manly yet smooth lips to touch her cheeks, her forehead and her lips as frequently as it used to. It was all objective. A fake world that she lived in. Then she had to remind herself that it was a long lost love that wasn't coming back. Dressed up regularly, she traced her path to a nearby mall with her friends. It was when she entered inside that she realized it wasn't a normal evening. There was something that the destiny had kept in store. The first few minutes were perfectly normal filled with chattering and laughter.
A few more steps, up the escalator, near the bend,
There stood a face so familiar that her heart gave a leap. Her brain stopped working for a few seconds making her feel dizzy. He was out there like a dream, with his usual grin, his pink lips, the eyes that she once used to talk to a lot, The high and tight haircut, A formal clothing! Yes, it was him, aged just a little, now a responsible young man.
It was as if the time was reversed. It was as if they were meeting for the first time. The surroundings suddenly became void of people, it was just him and her out there. Memories rolled in a flashback. Her heart sank, "Why can't I have him?" her mind shouted. It felt as if her legs would give away. As if the ground beneath her was crumbling down. A swift of darkness covered her eyes. All that she had fought against for so long was right in front of her.
He came closer to her, with his diplomatic strides that symbolized his years of working in the Indian Air Force. A smile that would right now make her heart cease. Her breathing grew heavy. For once she wanted to hold him tight and her cry her heart out, yell and tell how much she loves him and how much she missed him all these years. Hold him so tight and never let him go.
Like a bolt from the blue, the reality flashed in front of her. What he had made her go through. All those tears that were left unanswered. All her painful screams ignored. He came closer, just far away by an inch and spoke, "Nandini, how are you?"
She felt her heart leap again hearing his voice, The voice she craved to hear every second. She felt that love, the hurt and everything in between rush to her mind. Every memory passed like a picture right in front of her. Every moment pierced her heart, stabbed her with might.
She gathered all the courage she had, hiding every tear that tried to escape her eyes, she put on a strange look, fighting back every emotion she was feeling towards him, with a drying throat she finally managed to say, "Sorry, but do I know you?"

In Search of-

In search of love within hatred.
In search of truth within lies.
In search of reality among fakeness.
In search of peace within turmoil.
In search of rye within sand.
In search of warmth within cold.
In search of promises unfulfilled.
In search of words left unsaid.
In search of oneself, long lost among the wisps of eternal darkness.

A longing.

There was a fierce look, a surge of hope but then it was all a dream for the dream had ended and the love denied whilst it was still dawn and there was miles to go. The saddest of all seasons, The autumn of her love. Was there a new beginning or a never-ending pain. A plethora of words, stuck in the maze of lies, puzzled, she stood there longing for him to turn back, open his arms, draw her closer and hug her tight.

Wishes!

Wishes and hopes,
Reality gets worse,
No shoulders to support,
No hands to hold,
Destiny takes over,
Love turns to hate,
Fate laughs,
You sit with a cup of coffee,
Wearing your favorite fake smile.

The Remains of Her

She looks into the star studded sky. The bejeweled dazzle of shining beauty, wondering and staring at those deep heavens. Her eyes glistening with the ghost of her past. Memories invading her senses. A wish, A wish upon the star. A wish so pure and senseless. Pearly stream of water gliding down her cheeks. A hope against hope. A ray of hope which she held onto all these days breaking apart. The crumble of dreams in front of her very eyes. A flashback of her previous love. Her silent screams so avidly filling the calm air. The dark purple background reminding her of the darkness that had filled her life. Her eyes full of piercing pain. Hey! You, look here and you'll find, the remains of her. The remains that you left behind.

Letting Go!

Stuck between two things, she felt like her heart was going to crumble in whispers. Every thought of hers clashed as the things she wanted and those that she despised became so even that they had to move in a single, same path.
Letting go was like tearing apart her own self and letting the feeling stay was as though her soul was being ripped out and totally both the things meant she was being killed internally.

Everyday!

Everyday she decided to forget him, there was a reason why she shouldn't
Everyday she thought of hating him, she ended up loving him more.
Everyday she thought of loathing him, She started caring for him.
Everyday she thought of his not so good characters, there showed up how better he was.
Everyday she thought how he hurt her, it always showed how happy she was when it came to him.
And finally she ended up forgetting, hating and loathing herself.