You Never Knew Me

I've reached a point where I don't speak
Neither cry.
The tears, physical ones have dried up
I just feel as though I'm lost in a maze
And that it's dark, There's no way out.
I no more scream, My throat has choked up.
I have no more strength to pursue.
I have let go of everything I once held on to.
I don't ask questions anymore.
The thoughts have numbed.
The Anger and the frustration has died down.
I know that there's no end to it.
Just emptiness and a feeling as though something is lost that can't be regained.
There's no storm in my brain,just a silence, a long silence of destruction.
I'm a recovered person apparently.
But there's so much I just can't say.
Your talks, your laughs, your smile
And your lies, your grimace, your ruthless grace.
Your ignorance and my longing.
Your game and my feelings.
Your lies and my belief.
There's so much to the story between us yet few words to explain.
I've decided I'll keep my silence diligently,
For you won't hear me,
For you never knew me.

The Worst Nightmare of Being Alone

At times , when the whole atmosphere around you is silent , When you cant listen to those steady sounds of someone's breath , when you realize that you are all alone , when you NOTICE that you are all alone .. That feeling can give shivers to even the toughest of hearts alive on the earth.
When you have no one to listen to your cries , and there you stand , may be watching the raindrops outside your window thinking why they are never alone ? How fortunate are they to be accompanied by other drops all the time , Or looking at the sunshine and wondering why the sun rays always happen to be in a group , as a beam of light . Wondering why dont you have the fate of theirs , thinking why cant you express yourself out to anyone else.
Being alone sucks , and it does more when people you always hoped and prayed would stay with you , leave you , like forever . It makes you wonder why is the world so cruel and selfish .
You cry into silent nights , drenching your pillows with drops of salinity that represents the pain inside your heart. But in the morning you try to act like everything's normal and under control . you fake smiles , not wanting people to know what you are going through . But why? may be because you think they may laugh at you or talk about you being a total cry-baby .
Your teddies become your best companion for only they wouldnt balme you for everything . You just start wondering , how come those people who do wrong stuff all time remain happy while you have no rights to be so? Is it the fate or your Destiny or is it just god's way of showing you that "Child , you have these problems because I'm confident enough to say that only you have the Courage and Will to face them and come out all strong". Whatever people say, the calluses in your heart stay intact and fresh .. May be FOREVER !